Shadows and Light

There you stand
all shadows and light
dark and bright
always so right
never out of your element
regardless of setting
dreamtime manipulates facts
till you resemble a reality - a challenged parody
of what you had once been and have become
on the plane of sugar coated stars
you seek me out
our allow my protracted approach;
attentive, responsive, and always, always funny
How could you possibly be any other way?
In one night I could run to you
or drive to you in a fraction of that
rather I am here, in my own bed,
as close to you as I can get
my presence is not wanted,
you make it abundantly clear
So why the nightly beating myself bloody
in my sleep, supposedly unconscious
but it's the egos doing and the subconscious
that keeps this show running, encore after encore
if it were any different now,
if I got another chance, what would I say?
having already said to much
it'd take me several non-existent days
to just to open my expectant mouth
and give birth to the word "hello"
much less anything beyond ankle deep
at night when the flood lets loose
like an incontrollable river and comes
of seeking and finding
uninterrupted pleasure and joy till dawn
your will and eyes are no less sharp
your skin tastes like salty, sweet candy
you're laughably sweet, looking shyly sideways
even though we're psychically joined, and
all we're waiting for is to come down on each other
I awake in the afterglow
of relief and release to another disjointed day
of cursing my fool self
knowing you're gone
and doing everything and nothing
to head of the nightly replay
I love you, I desire you
want to hold you, want to break you
and most of all want it mirrored back
dreams intensity it tenfold
do yours? Have you also drowned in pathos?
longing and aching every non-waking hour
that's gone like smoke in the morning?
if only for more one day you would feel like I feel

Copyright: Renee Seymour, The Shades Between, 2024